Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Gandhi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing The World.

Gandhi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing The World.
1. Change
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”
“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

2. Control.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

3. Forgiveness

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

4. Action.

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

5. The present moment.

“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”

6. Everyone is human.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”
“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

7. Persist.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

8. Goodness.

“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”
“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”

9. Truth
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”

10. Development.
“Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Katie the Prefect

            This week I am sharing an article written by Joe Posnanski.  It is full of wisdom.    Joe was a sports writer for the Kansas City Star for several years, and has moved on to bigger and better things.   Joe is my favorite news writer of all times and this is one of his best.  This article has nothing to do with sports.   The topic is Harry Potter, and like many of Joe’s sports stories, it has more to do with the people in the article than the topic at hand.  I am not a Harry Potter fan.  I watched one of the movies.  I tried to choke down one of the books and just couldn’t do it.    You don’t need to be a Harry Potter fan to enjoy this article.  I can relate to this well because I have a daughter that is of similar age to one of the subjects of this article.    However, being a father isn’t even close to being a prerequisite to enjoy this article.
            This article has a lot to do with those moments in life that seem pretty small but end up having a big impact.    After a long day when the time has slipped away and you wonder what you really accomplished, remember this story and the fact that there was undoubtedly a small moment were you did something grand.  You just considered it part of your job, and entirely inconsequential, but it had a large impact on someone or something.    Likewise when you arrive in the morning and are having hard time thinking of anything but the weekend, remember that whatever you do there are going to be those moments where you can truly make an impact.     You have to be consistently striving or you will let those magical moments pass you by.    This article is full of other little bits of wisdom as well.   The older I get the more I have come to believe that we can make such a difference by showing just a little bit of zeal, doing a little bit more, showing just a bit more of our spirit.”   Since Joe’s professional words are much better than mine, pasted below is the article, “Katie the Prefect”.  
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Thursday, January 6, 2011
Katie The Prefect
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about our plans to take our daughters -- particularly our nine-year-old Elizabeth -- to Harry Potter World at Universal Studios in Orlando. I worried, I suppose, that nothing surprising and magical would happen. Well, as it turned out, something surprising and magical did happen.



The first thing I had to do when we got to Harry Potter World was stand in line. This was not unexpected. We had been told by several people to prepare for 1930s Soviet bread length lines. However, it was a bit surprising to find that I had to wait in line just for the right to go into Harry Potter World, where I could wait in those long lines. It turns out that Harry Potter World is rather small, and they can only let in so many people at a time. So, I had to wait in a 45-minute line that twisted and turned through the park just to get a return ticket -- which would allow us to go into Harry Potter World four hours later.

It probably goes without saying that I do not like waiting in lines -- this has to be like saying that you don't like traffic or you don't like doing taxes. But, to tell the truth, I enjoyed standing in the line. It was a beautiful day, and the line snaked through Comic Strip World (or whatever it is called) so while the family was off doing amusement park things I could look at Beetle Bailey and Cathy and Blondie exhibits. Perhaps more than anything I had that rare "I'm a Dad" feeling of pride. I can remember my Dad doing all sorts of awful tasks like this all just so we could do something fun. It seems part of the job. When I finally reached the end of that first line, and got our return tickets I had this great sense of accomplishment. Nobody, for the moment anyway, could argue the point.
Attorney: My client is a great Dad.
Judge: What proof do you have of this?
Attorney: He waited by himself in a 45-minute line so his wife and daughters could go to Harry Potter world.
Judge: Case closed. Defendant is a great dad.

We had four hours before we were allowed to stand in the Harry Potter World lines, and so we went to Dr. Seuss Land, which reminded me once again that Dr. Seuss was a disturbed man. I don't mean this in a bad way at all -- I loved Dr. Seuss as a child, and I love him as a parent, but the world he created is kind of whacked. We had breakfast with the Grinch (who snapped at both daughters), and we rode the One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish ride (where you get sprayed with water), and we went into the Cat in the Hat Ride, where you get spun around and constantly taunted by creatures aptly named Thing 1 and Thing 2.

At one point, we also went to Jurassic Park land, and we were taken into a laboratory-themed room where a young man in a lab jacket showed us a rather large dinosaur that he said was brought back to life through cryogenics and cloning and whatever that movie was about. This placed us as parents in a rather odd position: Were we supposed to tell the girls that the dinosaur wasn't real? Frankly, I have to admit, it gets harder and harder as a parent to remember what myths the kids still believe in, what myths they kind-of believe in, what myths we want them to believe in and so on. I finally made the executive decision that I saw no reason whatsoever for them to believe that dinosaurs still roam the earth.

"It's a robot," I told them.

"Are you sure?" they asked.

"And I don't think Babe Ruth called his shot either," I said.

* * *

Harry Potter World is actually one cobbled street that features a castle, a wand shop, a sweet shop, a magical joke shop, a restaurant, three rides and 1.9 million people. It is not large, but there is no question that there's something bewitching about the place. The scene seems pulled out of the J.K. Rowling books. To be honest, it almost feels like you are shuffling about in a pop-up version of the books ... assuming that the pop-up book was placed in O'Hare Airport on Christmas Eve.

My point here is to write about the something magical that happened in Harry Potter World and not to give a review of the park, but I should say that it really was great fun despite the crowds and the long lines. In a weird way, it was great fun BECAUSE of the crowds and the long lines. What I mean is: Elizabeth had been so looking forward to the park. She has a natural habit of building things up way too big in her mind, which sometimes leads to spectacular disappointment ... a habit, I fear, she may have inherited from her father. It is actually this habit that led to our magical moment.

But in this case, her fevered anticipation for Harry Potter World was met, even exceeded, and against-intuition I think the large crowds and long lines had a lot to do with it. I think this for two reasons:

(1) The long lines meant that we stayed in HP World for a long time. If there had been only a few people in the park, I think we might have been in and out in an hour and a half or two hours, and she would have realized that the park wasn't very big. We would have ridden the rides, gone through the castle, visited the shops, and I feel sure there would have been an "Is that all?" feeling. But because just getting into the castle took more than an hour, just getting into the sweet shop was another 15-20 minutes, getting on the ride was another 45, buying a wand from one of the street vendors was another 30 ... it all felt to her like an enormous adventure.

(2) I think just seeing how many people from all over love Harry Potter -- there had to be five or six languages going at once, not including intense Alabama accents (the Alabama-Michigan State Bowl was a day away) -- made her feel a part of this larger community. This very sweet young woman from Dothan, Alabama lifted Elizabeth on her shoulders so she could see a little show (I had our younger daughter, Katie, on my shoulders), and then they talked all about goblet of fire and the Mirror or Erised and the spiders in the Forbidden Forest and whatever else. I remember as a child desperately wanting something to make me feel connected -- for me it was sports. Sadly there was no Cleveland Indians world, unless you count the bleachers at old Municipal Stadium where factory workers drank schnapps from flasks and swore liberally and rubbed your head when the Indians actually scored.

So if somebody would ask me: "Should we go to Harry Potter World?" I would simply ask how much their children love Harry Potter. Because for an adult who loves Harry Potter ... I don't know what the expectations would be, and so I don't know how annoying and off-putting the lines and the claustrophobia and the general inability to get around would become. For a 9-year-old who dreams nightly of J.K. Rowling's imaginary and wonderful and frightening world, it was fabulous -- even if Elizabeth was scared to death on the park's main ride.

* * *

Now, finally, the magical part. As we were getting ready to leave, Elizabeth was granted her one wish, which was to buy something from the gift shop. This, even under the best of circumstances, can be a gut-wrenching experience. Every now and again, I will take the girls to Target, and they are allowed to buy one thing, and Katie tends to pick out a Polly Pocket doll or something like it within about 45 seconds. Elizabeth proceeds to turn the trip into Hamlet Act 3, Scene 1. She puts intense pressure on herself to make the right decision, as if every Target will close tomorrow, as if a meteor will crash into the earth if she chooses wrong. If she had found herself faced with the bluepill, redpill choice from The Matrix, I have little doubt the movie would have lasted 37 hours and in the end she would have asked once again if there was a purplepill in a different aisle.

So, if trips to the local Target turn into traumatic experiences, you can only imagine the anxiety and torture of picking out one thing in Harry Potter World. My wife Margo, being smarter than her husband, announced that she was taking the younger daughter back to Dr. Seuss World -- because getting drenched while riding in flying fish is far superior to dealing with the older daughter's "what should I buy" anxieties.

It was every bit as stressful as you might imagine. There were, of course, way too many people inside the secondary gift shop (the MAIN gift shop, where there is some show involved with picking out a wand, had an hour and a half wait). It was difficult to move. And Elizabeth was in her rush-from-one-place-to-another frantic mode ... she was in the 9-year-old middle ground between elation and panic.

And then ... we ran into Katie the Prefect. Katie was about 18 or 19, I'm terrible about judging ages, and she worked in the store and, as such, wore the robes that students wear at Hogwarts School in the Harry Potter books. I know she was a prefect because she wore a prefect's badge, which is the first thing that Elizabeth noticed.

"Are you a prefect?" she asked, and her face lit up.

"Yes," Katie said. "What house are you in?"

There are four houses at the Hogwarts School in Harry Potter. The main one is Gryffindor, which is the house of Harry Potter and his friends. For some reason, Elizabeth had decided that her house was Ravenclaw, which in my own memory plays almost no role whatsoever in the books.

"I'm a Ravenclaw," Elizabeth said.

"Are you now?" Katie said, and she was clearly amused, and Elizabeth was absolutely smitten.

It's easy to forget this ... but anyone can be a star to a 9-year-old. Yes, Elizabeth is actually hypersensitive to stardom, she likes the tween fan magazines so she can read up on Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez (her favorite) and Demi Lovato and the Jonas Brothers and ... if none of these names are ringing a bell, I can lend you a 9-year-old girl for a while. But the truth is that to a 9-year-old, a star can be almost anybody older -- the police officer standing outside the mall, the soldier who walks on the plane, the boys and girls in the choir at a recital, the actors in a community theater play and, most definitely, the girl wearing robes and a prefect badge at Harry Potter World. They talked for a couple of moments, Katie the Prefect was very kind and patient, and then we were back on our never-ending adventure of buying something that would somehow meet Elizabeth's impossibly high hopes.

I've bored you long enough -- but I should say there was still quite a bit of angst before we finally got down to two items. One was a glitzy Gryffindor Bag (there was no Ravenclaw merchandise in the junior gift shop). And the other was a cute stuffed-animal owl like the one that Harry uses to send and receive mail. Getting down to these two items had pressed Elizabeth to her decision-making limits, and at this point she more or less shut down.

"Daddy," she said in a pleading voice. "What should I do? Tell me?"

Believe it or not, there are no classes that tell fathers what to say to their daughters when they have reached a crisis point while trying to choose an owl or a bag. The options, as I saw them, were to say what I was thinking ("I don't care just choose one already"), to go strict Daddy on her ("If you don't choose in 5 seconds, you won't get either"), to take the spoiled Dad route I have always promised myself not to take ("Fine just get them both and let's get out of here"), or to try once more to guess which one she really wanted and push her in that direction. None of these options seemed to fit the occasion.

And then ... I saw Katie the Prefect. And, in an inspired bit of fatherhood, I said: "Let's go ask her."

I had no idea what Katie the Prefect would say. Something that disappoints me sometimes is that it seems exuberance and enthusiasm can be such rare qualities in people. There are so many discouraged people. There are so many people who appear to be going through the motions -- lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them (I knew that Thoreau study would come in handy someday). The older I get the more I have come to believe that we can make such a difference by showing just a little bit of zeal, doing a little bit more, showing just a bit more of our spirit.

Elizabeth quietly walked over to Katie The Prefect (while clinging desperately to my hand) and said: "Um, excuse me. I wanted to ask you a question, please."

Katie said: "Oh hello. My little Ravenclaw friend. What can I do for you?"

Elizabeth explained her conundrum. Owl or bag. Bag or owl. Katie the Prefect in real life, I suspect, is a young woman who goes to college, probably has a boyfriend, undoubtedly has her good moments and bad, her good habits and bad, parents who adore her, friends who look up to her, friends she looks up to and all those things. She worked at Harry Potter world, which undoubtedly has its good points and bad points and lots of grumpy muggles (muggle meaning "non-magical people" in the Harry Potter books).

But in this moment -- and I doubt she realized this entirely -- she was the biggest thing in the world to a 9-year-old girl she will undoubtedly never see again. She could have simply said "Get the bag" or "Get the owl" or "Well, what do you want to do?" or anything else. That was, I would guess, part of her job.

What she did, though, was lean down close to Elizabeth and look her right in the eye. And she said: "Well, it's a difficult choice isn't it? They're both such wonderful things. But it seems to me that you could use the bag every day. You could use it to keep your books when you go to school, and school is very important. I had to study very hard to become a prefect. And the owl ..."

With this she leaned even closer and almost whispered in Elizabeth's ear: "I must tell you: Owls are not of much use in the muggle world."

That was it. That was the magic. Elizabeth's face lit up like like the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. She nodded, and she gave Katie the Prefect a huge hug, and for those 20 seconds of her life it was like she was in the Harry Potter book, being offered advice by the most popular student at Hogwarts.
Owls are not of much use in the muggle world. Katie hugged her back, disappeared into the crowd, and Elizabeth got the bag which, for once, was EXACTLY what she wanted. It was, in fact, the greatest thing she had ever gotten in her entire life. Every time she drapes it around her shoulder, she tells the story of how she got it and the advice Katie the Prefect had given her.

It was just a few seconds of kindness. It might even just be viewed as part of the job of working at Harry Potter World. But that -- more than the multi-million dollar rides, more than the authentic butterbeer or the cauldron made of chocolate, more than the remarkable effects in the castle, more than anything -- that is what Elizabeth will remember, perhaps even for the rest of her life. A young woman probably making something like minimum wage, wearing a robe and a badge, had made Elizabeth feel special and magical. I thanked Katie the Prefect before she went off to help other customers, but I'm not sure she heard me, and I'm not sure she would have understood anyway. There's so much we can do in this crazy world with a little effort and imagination. There's so much we can do that it's easy to miss what we have done ... even after it's over.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Football is Wisdom

Football season is almost here and I can’t wait.   It reminds me of being a fan of great teams (it's been a while) and playing high school football on a not so great team.  In high school,  our coach had a big  2x4 he painted red buried in the ground a few hundred feet from the football practice field.  He called it the “redline”.  Once you crossed that redline,  your mind had better be on football.   Coach said we had to forget about those girls, tests, parents, and whatever worries that were on our minds as 15-18 year old boys.    I chuckle in my head as coach was asking us, at that age, to put girls out of our heads for more than a few minutes.   There was even the comical lecture every season, that we should consider breaking up with our girlfriends during football season.  I considered it quite unfortunate this wasn't a problem I had to worry about too often.   

The redline was also about punctuality.  “Redline time” meant your cleats had better hit that board on time or you were in real trouble.  I can remember the coach coming through the locker room as we hurriedly put on our practice uniforms and pads that hadn’t been washed in weeks (a gross but very true fact that would still make my mom cringe and help explain my girl troubles).   Coach would belt out a harsh reminder. “Let’s go, let’s go you hound dogs!  Redline time in two minutes.  It’s a great day to be young, alive,  and a thunderbird! “   If you are confused my high school mascot was a thunderbird and not a hound dog, but hopefully you still get the picture.   
I can remember those rare opportunities where I’d be ready just as Coach came through the locker room.  There was a moment as we jogged together to the field where he’d ask me how my day was or how my parents were.   I saw a glimpse that he actually cared about me.    Two minutes later as I burst off the line of scrimmage on the fist hut instead of the second hut, his belittlement would force me to wonder if he did indeed care about me.    

Somehow the offensive line coach found out I got a 30 on my ACT test.   From then on he would make me do 30 up-downs every time I forgot the snap count.   Jumping the count as often as I did didn't make sense to him, since I obviously had the mental capacity to remember a snap count for about 15 seconds.    I am guessing I forgot to leave all my troubles at the redline.  I did a lot of up-downs. 
I still carry that redline mentality to work.  In fact in my head as I step on that curb at work every morning I leave all my non-work troubles at the curb and head inside.  I say in my head, “It’s a great day to be young and alive and working at Garmin!”   and I look around at those  co-workers scrambling on the elevator and in my head I am saying “Let’s go, let’s go you hound dogs.  Let’s make Garmin a fortune 100 company!”  After work I stop at the curb and exchange my work troubles for my non-work troubles (with an 8-year old daughter and a caring wife it is still mostly about girls) and head to the car.  I would recommend to anyone to have that "redline" that seperates work from home so you can be your best and focused on the task at hand when at home and at work.  It isn't perfect sometimes I have to work at home.  Sometimes I have to deal with a home issue at work.   The redline works most of the time and keeps me from taking either place too seriously.   

 I am also still learning not to jump the snap count.   Luckily my boss has not instituted the up-down rule for every time I blurt out my opinion on a matter without thinking – well before the snap count called for it.    Looking back on some of the tough lessons high school football taught me I am pretty sure my coaches actually did care about me.  Football taught me quite a bit about planning, team work, and execution.   It's all about getting better every day.  Many of my coworkers, some of whom did not grow up in the United States, are often asking me why sports are such a big deal in college and high school in this country.   I think these life lessons have something to do with it. 
This week's artice, which I have pasted below,  is about a Kansas high school football program.  Smith Center's Roger Barta has a very successful program.  The article is the Reader's Digest excerpt from the book Our Boys: A Perfect Season on the Plains with the Smith Center Redmen.   I do have to apologize to my good friend Chris, who wanted me to remind everyone that Smith Center's Mark Simoneau (mentioned in the article) was the second best high school athlete in Kansas circa 1988.    Chris is a Scott City, Kansas (a fierce Smith Center rival) native who doesn’t have a fond liking of Smith Center football.    Yet,  I found it to be a good example on how football coaches impart those life lessons, and just what high school football is all about.  It is especially important to the rural communities that really rally around their athletes.  Sorry Chris,  for you and those wanting other examples on football wisdom,  I have a few other links here:

Video:  A Game of Hope




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Growing up in Plainville, an hour away, Barta learned the art of mentoring from his own high school football coach, Al Hargrave. “He kind of raised us like his own kids,” says Barta. “When we were in high school, he had us coach Little League teams. When we were in college, he’d have us come back and coach American Legion. He was probably the first teacher who taught me that the way to make an impact on a kid was to love him and treat him with respect.”
Check out Joe Drape’s Top 10 Football Stadiums
Buy the Book: Our Boys: A Perfect Season on the Plains with the Smith Center Redmen
Smack-dab in the heart of America, amid rolling fields of wheat and soybeans—in Smith Center, Kansas, to be exact—high school football coach Roger Barta glanced at his notes as he stood among the sea of players gathered before him.
It was 6:30 a.m. on August 18, 2008, the first day of practice for this edition of the Redmen and the 31st opening day of the season for Barta, 64, longtime coach and former math teacher at Smith Center High School. Barta wore a red T-shirt that puffed out over a beach ball–shaped belly, and a visor was pulled down low over his gray brush cut. Only the juniors and seniors—the veterans of the team—appeared happy to be up at this hour. Their jerseys showed off the ripped biceps and abdominal muscles they had sculpted as Redmen over the years.
Barta began with basic instructions: Shower to avoid staph infection. Drink lots of water. Perfectly fine advice. But what Coach Barta laid out next was the essential game plan—life lessons that many people consider his greatest strength. “Someone here is the best football player on the team, and someone is the worst,” he said. “It’s time to forget about that. Let’s respect each other. When we respect each other, we’ll like each other. When we like each other, we’ll love each other. That’s when, together, we’ll become champions.”
He paused for a moment. When he resumed, he spoke with even more fervor to the 56 young men sitting before him. “One more thing, guys. We don’t talk about winning and losing. We talk about getting a little better every day, about being the best we can be, about being a team. And when we do that, winning and losing take care of themselves.”

Over the next four months, the Redmen went on to beat each and every one of their opponents, racking up another perfect season. As their coach, Barta has compiled a 289–58 record, eight Kansas state championships, and 67 consecutive victories. In high school football, it’s the longest active winning streak in the nation. Through it all, Coach Barta kept his word: Not once did he ever say that a game was do-or-die.
“None of this is really about football,” he had explained to me back in 2007, convincingly enough to compel me to move to Smith Center from New York City with my wife, Mary, and three-year-old son, Jack, for a year so I could write about him. “What I hope we’re doing is sending kids into life who know that every day means something.”
As a Kansas City native, I was fascinated by Barta’s success. I also needed help. I was a new father living in Manhattan, far from my Midwestern roots. I was having a hard time with the fact that my son had to trick-or-treat in an apartment building and that he never failed to exclaim when he set foot in my brother’s yard in suburban Kansas City, “Look, Daddy. Uncle Tom has a park!” Jack needed to discover grasshoppers and open spaces, and I needed to be reminded of how boys are turned into young men.
What we do real well around here is raise kids,” says Coach Barta, crediting the people of Smith Center with his team’s success both on and off the field. The parents in this tiny, close-knit town of 1,663 in western Kansas—only 166 students attend the high school, and the nearest Wal-Mart or McDonald’s is more than 60 miles away—raise their children almost as a communal enterprise. More than supportive, they are wholly engaged with their kids’ lives; the same family members who pack Hubbard Stadium on Friday nights for football games routinely turn out for the same kids’ school plays and concerts on Saturday nights and even the junior high school volleyball games on Thursday afternoons. Still, Barta is being modest about his influence.
To most kids here, Barta is not just a winning coach but also a tough-love mentor. During last year’s playoffs, for instance, star running back Joe Osburn was struggling with Macbeth in English class. Barta told him that either he mastered the Bard or his season was finished. Barta got the captains involved, and they took turns quizzing Osburn on his lines of Shakespeare. He pulled his grades up and kept playing.
Barta insists that the members of his team be well-rounded: One of his 2008 captains was Smith Center High’s salutatorian and played piano with the Chansonaires, a select choral group. Two other Redmen were the comic leads in the school play, which meant skipping the whirlpool after practice and heading straight to rehearsals. Last fall, on a Monday before the Redmen’s toughest playoff game, against undefeated La Crosse, Coach Barta could not hold practice because 11 of his players were singing in a concert. “When you tell kids there’s more to life than football, you have to show them you mean it,” he says.
Barta’s caring credo informs the thank-you notes the team sends to the grandparents of former Redmen who donate to the booster club each season. It’s found in the way the team handles the player trading cards that are collected and exchanged by Smith Center’s elementary school kids. The cards are more than an homage: All Redmen sign a contract vowing not to drink, smoke, or take drugs, and if a player breaks the oath, his card is yanked from circulation. He must then visit Smith Center Elementary and explain why. (So far, no player has ever had to make the walk of shame.)
“Roger likes everything about football,” says Barta’s wife, Pam. “But what he loves most are the practices, the camaraderie, and watching the boys learn a little more. He lets them know how much he wants them to succeed.”
When a back injury ended Barta’s playing career, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be a college student. One summer, he took a job in the Kansas oil fields, hoping it might be his ticket out of academe. It took him a single rainy day of being stranded on an oil derrick to know. “I almost froze to death,” he says. He looked around at his co-workers, who were aged beyond their young years. “They were missing fingers and teeth. I didn’t want to do that for the rest of my life.”
He returned to Fort Hays State to earn a mathematics degree and went on to get a master’s in math education at the University of Georgia. Today, Barta and his assistants spend as much time helping players figure out what they want to do with their lives as they do on the intricacies of game plays.
“Coach understands we can be a little isolated out here,” says lineman Cody Tucker. “He knows we’re hard workers, so he tries to open us up to bigger possibilities.”
Each summer after the sixth grade, virtually every boy and girl in the Smith Center school system spends at least four days a week in the weight room as part of an off-season conditioning program for all school sports. The physical workouts lead to social bonds that extend through senior year of high school: On the eve of every football game, the Redmen eat together in the school cafeteria or on the road. They take the field in pairs, holding hands. They ride the bus home together after away games.
For tangible reasons, in other words, Smith Center Redmen win a lot of football games, often against teams from bigger schools, with a combination of the intimacy of a family and the ferocity of a combat unit.
Coach Barta has sent dozens of his players on to the college gridiron; one, Mark Simoneau, is a linebacker for the NFL’s New Orleans Saints. But perhaps Coach Barta’s greatest legacy lives within Smith Center’s 1.2 square miles: former Redmen who left town for college or work but eventually returned home.
Dr. Justin Overmiller, 30, once a team quarterback, got his medical degree from the University of Kansas and joined a family practice back here. John Terrill and Dave Mace, trust officers at the local Peoples Bank, also played for Coach Barta. Terrill is the voice of the Redmen for Smith Center’s cable channel; Mace is one of its statisticians. Last fall, the two men watched their oldest boys, Trenton and Kalen, respectively, help lead the Redmen to a 13–0 season and another state championship. The men will stay here this fall, and two more after that, as Kale Terrill and Brandon Mace, sophomores this year, absorb the same lessons their brothers and fathers did.
In fact, the sidelines of any given Redmen game are dense with Coach Barta’s former players, sons of the Kansas plains and the Redmen magic. Barta’s assistant coaches—Mike Rogers, Brock Hutchinson, Tim Wilson, and Darren Sasse—played for him at one time, with the exception of Dennis Hutchinson, Brock’s father and Barta’s top assistant for 31 years. Each has turned down opportunities to be head coach for high school teams elsewhere to remain at Smith Center High. The school motto, “Tradition Never Graduates,” lives on.
“We’ve all had opportunities,” says Brock, 34. “But this is where we’ve learned to love one another and work hard and build a community. If we can have an impact on a kid’s life like Coach Barta and my dad had on us, we want to do it in our hometown.”
It wasn’t until after we returned to New York City that I understood the impact Smith Center had had on both Jack and me. My son was a fixture in the locker room, on the sidelines—in the whole town, really. The Redmen were his first real role models.
Before the Redmen’s championship matchup with Olpe at Fort Hays State, Brock Hutchinson asked them to bow their heads. “You play this game today because you live in Smith Center, Kansas,” he said, “in a community that loves you and watches over you. Each one of you was born to be Redmen.”
A few hours later, after Smith Center had defeated Olpe 48–19 and broken the Kansas state record for consecutive victories, the Redmen’s “circle up” began, in which players, coaches, and townsfolk gather on the field or in the locker room to hold hands and give thanks—not for winning or losing but for having this time together. The Fort Hays State locker room was not conducive to circling up; still, the old men and little children of Smith Center kept pouring in to be with their boys.
By this time, the Redmen were “our boys” too. Mary, Jack, and I had gotten to know their families. We had ridden their combines, visited their hog farms, shared their meals. I spotted Jack across the room. He grasped the hands of the water boys as if he’d been circling up all his life.
Coach Barta asked his son, Brooks, 39, to address the team. Brooks is now a high school coach in Holton, Kansas; he’s won more than 100 games and two state titles. “I imagine you heard many times last year about how to carry this experience in football to other aspects of life,” Brooks began. “Relationships, academics, jobs, families. These things require the same commitment, sacrifice, preparation, toughness, and hard work. All of us will have opportunities to experience the same kind of success over and over. We have to make good choices about the people we surround ourselves with, and commit to sharing our own experience with others.”
I watched Jack watch Brooks. I watched Coach Barta listen to his son. I looked at the rows of fathers holding the hands of their boys. And I understood at that moment that Coach Barta is more than just a helluva football coach.
He is a teacher—a first-rate one.
Joe Drape, a sportswriter for the New York Times, is the author of the just-published Our Boys: A Perfect Season on the Plains with the Smith Center Redmen (Times Books/Henry Holt)
















Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Regrets

This blog is about Wisdom.  I have shared little tidbits on Wednesday's for about the last year with my team at work, and thought I'd turn it into a blog.  I am not a manager,  I don't have a masters degree or a doctorate.  I don't have the wisdom, hence I am always looking for those things that will help me to continually get better at my job, my family, my friends, my faith, and my life in general.  I won't write much myself but share what I have found.    Hopefully someone likes at least one little piece of info each week.

It is kind of funny and ironic that I am starting my blog on the day of my wedding anniversary and it is all about regrets.  My wife is the perfect match for me and of all the decisions I have made over the years this is not something I regret.  Darius Rucker's song "This" always hits home pretty hard for me.  "Thank god for all I missed Cause it led me here to this." 

I love my wife, my family, my coworkers, my firends, my job, and basically everything about where I am today.   There are things I'd change instantly if I could.  I could be skinnier, stronger, smarter, richer, but then would I be here at this point right now?    Maybe if I went back and fixed all my regrets my pathway would not be as good as it is now.  So what's the point in regretting the past?

When things aren't going well there is another quote I think about, "that which does not kill you only makes you stronger".  There is a reason for every twist and turn of life's journey and we might as well enjoy it instead of regretting everything we do.  You never know when that difficult part of the journey is going to place you smack dab in the middle of something great.  Learn from your mistakes and move on!

The main part of today's wisdom comes from a great resource.  If you are a husband or a father I say go right now and subscribe to allprodad's Play of the day.  It is a great quick hitter that gives advice on being a husband and a father everyday.  It is cool that it hits my inbox everyday right before lunch.  One of the recent play of the day's was a great article on how to Minimize Regrets.   Thanks to All-Pro Dad for the info below.

10 Ways to Minimize Your Regrets at the End of Your Life
If  we had to quantify it, probably 80% of what is considered important right now will mean absolutely nothing at the end of your life. What are the things that dominate your worries and thoughts? The mortgage and car payments? Job performance and promotion?  Hey, it’s important to take those things seriously because that’s the way our world functions.  However, nobody lies on their death bed thanking God that he made all his mortgage payments on time. What about the remaining 20% of what you consider important in your life?  Those are the moments that will become your legacy…the moments that define you.  Here are some thoughts to help you live a life without regret.
1.     Family First
Possibly the most common regret at the end of a life is, “I didn’t spend enough time with my family.” When we’re young, we are so eager to start our grown-up lives that we neglect our parents. When we’re adults in the midst of building the life we imagined, we neglect our wife and kids. What’s left at the end of that life is a sad and lonely person. Your family comes first—always. Cherish your wife.  Never stop earning her love and devotion. Adore your children and spend every second you can with them.
2.     Faith
Life has a far greater purpose beyond our human knowledge. “All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson. Faith gives you the inner peace in knowing that all is not in vain. Your life matters greatly. Our time on earth is but a blink of the eye in comparison to eternity.  Faith in something greater than you = zero regret.
3.     Color Outside The Lines
As soon as our life begins, society creates boxes within which we’re supposed to live. Order is certainly vital to a prosperous people. There are lines a decent human being should never cross. On the other hand, there are times when you HAVE to cross some cultural lines if joy is to ever going to find its way into our hearts. Dare to color your life outside of pre-determined boxes. Step out of comfort zones. As the saying goes, dance as if nobody is looking.
4.     The Power Of Vision
The big picture. Our actions always have consequences, and those can be both positive and negative. A wise man has the ability to visualize outcomes before they occur. Never make decisions from a self-centered perspective. They will often grant you short-term gain, but create long-term damage to you and everyone around you. Always hedge your bets towards what is the wise thing to do. You will have much fewer regrets.
5.     Use Your Gifts
Every human being has a unique set of gifts designed to complement and enhance this creation. Sadly, many people never realize what makes them special. Your abilities might bring you wealth, or it’s possible that they’ll never earn you a single dime. Either way, that isn’t the point. The point is to use your gifts to the best of your ability and in the way that they were created.  Nurture and aggressively display the gifts that have been loaned to you for the course of your life.  Use them to bring glory to the One who gave them to you.
6.     Loose Lips Sink Ships
We all have those memories that make us cringe. The times we lost control and our mouths spewed out venom we didn’t know we possessed. When spoken in haste and anger, the words we use have the potential to create heartache and damage. Hasn’t it happened to you?  Learn from the horrible memory living within you. Hold your tongue and think before you speak. Do your best to redeem yourself with those you have hurt in the past. Your soul will rest much easier at night.
7.     Take Care Of Yourself
We often take our health for granted. It usually takes a major scare to open us up to a healthier lifestyle. Sometimes the warning never comes. We’ve all got that friend or family member that shocked us by dying too soon. No one is guaranteed to live to a ripe old age. However we can help ourselves by taking care of our bodies and minds. Commonsense and moderation are usually the keys to successful physical and mental health.
8.     The Bucket List
We all have dreams and aspirations. Create a list of the things you wish to accomplish in this life. Some will be easy and some difficult, but none are impossible. Document these moments and live every second of them to the fullest.
9.     Random Kindness
When we spread joy our souls glow bright and beautiful. Our spiritual well-being is critical to peace in our heart. Stand up for the person who stands alone. Offer a smile to the person who only faces scorn. Extend a helping hand to the person who has only been shoved down. Who will God send? Every single day say “God, send me.”
10.  Forgiveness
Release the hurt that lies within you. Grudges you continue to carry will only leave you jaded and loaded with bitterness. This type of person is no longer able to see the good in the world. Joy escapes them. Forgive those who have hurt you and let that pain go. Seek forgiveness from those you’ve wronged. In the end, life boils down to forgiveness. Nothing else matters.


Enjoy and see you next week!