Wednesday, February 29, 2012

How to be an Optimist Without Being An Idiot

One of my biggest problems is from time to time I get caught up in what is going wrong and that starts a pessismistic attitude that can really have a negative effect on anyone you come into contact with.  I have been trying to kick this habit for a while now and constantly need reminders like this article.  Optimisim and a positive attitude are essential to your own health and the health of the family and work team's you interact with.  I truly believe it is a trait worth training yourself on if it doesn't come naturally. 

“If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say, in a pleasant and hopeful voice, ‘Well, this isn’t too bad. I don’t have my left arm anymore, but at least nobody will ever ask me whether I am right-handed or left-handed,’ but most of us would say something more along the lines of ‘Aaaaah! My arm! My Arm!’”—Lemony Snicket

It’s easy to mock an optimist, isn’t it? Those who hope for the best are scorned as “Pollyannas.” Bart Simpson mocks Lisa’s idealism. Lou Grant mocked Mary Richards in the newsroom. Voltaire enjoys many a knowing smile at the expense of his Candide. 

Yet optimism is one of the key strategies for overcoming fear, anxiety, frustration and skepticism in order to make a small business thrive, argue Clate Mask and Scott Martineau in their new book, Conquer the Chaos: How to Grow a Successful Small Business (Wiley, 2010).

The key, however, is to practice not unbridled, idealistic, romantic notions of cheerfully annoying optimism, but rather to practice “disciplined optimism.”

“Disciplined optimism,” Clate and Scott say, inspires you to maintain confidence and get to work removing whatever obstacle is in your way. It allows you to own the problem, and do something about it, because you have a sense that doing so gets you closer to your ultimate goal.

The authors define disciplined optimism as “faith you will prevail plus discipline to confront the brutal facts.” In other words, disciplined optimists do something about the little black rain cloud over their heads—they erect a very large umbrella, say—while blind optimists simply sit in the muddy puddle and cheerfully wish for the rain to stop (and then get wet and chilled and distraught when it doesn’t).

A good way for small business owners to practice disciplined optimism is to spend some time with unhappy customers. It stings when a customer complains about our product or services, and it’s easy to get incensed, defensive, and, ultimately, be simply unresponsive.

A disciplined optimist, however, assures an irate customer that they both want the same thing: A seamless customer experience. So the optimist (1) apologizes for the malfunction or disappointment; and (2) thanks the customer for bringing the issue to his or her attention so that the business can make this right and help future customers avoid the same frustrations.

The key here, however, is the bigger picture: Responding with confidence and enthusiasm, not just going through the mechanics of fixing an issue, because you see customer issues and other roadblocks as entirely fixable things that, once corrected, hasten the progress toward your long-term goal, Clate and Scott point out.

I particularly like this section on optimism in Conquer the Chaos. Why? Because much as we all know that a doing something about a problem is a better response than simply wallowing in it, it’s easier said than done, right? We all know that a customer complaint is an opportunity to turn an opinion around, but it’s hard not to get ticked off and impassive.

“We’ve all heard that we need to view customer complaints as opportunities to improve, try to turn lemons into lemonade, blah, blah, blah,” Clate and Scott write. But actually doing it is way harder than simply voicing it.

In a larger context, too, it’s hard to maintain disciplined optimism with all of persistent business pressures that make up our workdays—competitive threats, cash flow worries, an underperforming employee, competitive threats, limited resources—or on those days when business feels more like a battle than an adventure. Some days, you need a shot glass full of optimism just to get through the afternoon. But the disciplined kind—not the clueless kind that makes you smile blithely and ultimately give up because things don’t change the way you want them to.

So how do you nurture disciplined optimism within yourself? How do you make an effort to be more of a half-full, and less of a half-empty, kind of person? Here are eight ideas, based on Clate and Scott’s advice in their book as well as my own two pesos.

  1. Face the problem (and quickly). This one is from Clate and Scott, who say, “Don’t brood and dwell on difficult experiences,” like a thorny customer or looming cash crunch. “Go to work right away.”
  2. Rewind. Go back and address situations you wish you’d handled differently. It’s never too late (well, it’s never too late at least to try.)
  3. Rewire your brain. Be conscious of your negative thoughts. Boot them out of your brain and make room for positive thoughts. (This might sound squishy and New Age-y, but it works.)
  4. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Believe in yourself and what you are doing, but don’t take yourself too seriously. (Those who do are one of my biggest pet peeves, by the way.) “Laugh at yourself. Have a little fun. Roll with the punches,” Clate and Scott say.
  5. Read customer testimonials. Or shake the Magic Google 8-ball: Search on “I love {insert your company name here}.” This does wonders to remind you of the good feelings you engender.
  6. Give a compliment. Spread sunshine yourself by telling someone what a great job they are doing. You’ll feel better about yourself, too.
  7. Fake it ‘til you make it. This old catchphrase is a great way to shake up your behavior. It’s usually applied to confidence, but you can apply it to optimism, as well, especially if you aren’t naturally a half-full kind of person: Imitating optimism will generate real optimism by producing success; that in turn reinforces your optimism.
  8. Be grateful. Those of us here at OPEN Forum are a lucky bunch, aren’t we? We have passion and a curiosity and willingness to learn and grow our businesses and ourselves. (Otherwise, why would you be reading OPEN Forum at all?) That’s an amazing thing, isn’t it? And for that, we can be grateful every day.
What about you? Are you a so-called disciplined optimist? How do you maintain it?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Being Successful

 

This week's article is about being succesful.  As I raise my kids I am constantly trying to instill what my vision of success is so they don't focus too much on society's ideals for success.  This has been a good lesson for me to instill into my life....


Enjoy and start being successful now!

 

Being Successful

As strange as it might seem, success, one of the most popular concepts in our modern world, is the most difficult thing to understand for many people. Maybe that would be the main reason for not getting it at all? Maybe because the core definition of success is so foggy we have a hard time identifying a successful outcome? What is success to you? What is the final touch that defines a successful lifestyle?
If you started to wonder even for a split of a second about the answer to that question, I bet you have difficulties in enjoying your life. I know I did. I struggled for years with the socially generated concepts of success and tried a lot of paths in order to achieve those – sometimes even opposed – states of success.

Social pressure

It literally took me years to understand the core meaning of success. It's difficult to understand that because most of the definitions are socially generated and every one of them implies some artificial link between you and the others. In order to be successful you have to be acknowledged by somebody else. You need proof and most of the times you need somebody else to tell you that you are a successful human being.
That's strange. That's the wrong way, you know, to be told you are successful, to need external validation processes. Being successful should be something that comes the other way around: from within. The modern society put such a tremendous pressure on being popular. Success is often defined by the number of people that have heard about you. Being known is enough of a success for many people, even if this popularity has no generated value associated with it.
Even if you do something that is totally in accord with your inner values, you have to correspond to a set of standardized principles in order to achieve success. In modern society, money and recognition are amongst the most important success definitions. You might be a complete and fulfilled person, yet if you don't have tons of money or you're not quite a popular figure, you're not going to be accepted as a successful person.

Building success

Trying to work with ready made definition of success, without first understanding what those definitions mean to you, as a person, is like building a house from a broken foundation. You might know from your heart how to build your house, but you'll be forced to start building on a broken foundation. Your dream house might be built as you wish, but it will fall apart sooner or later, because of the broken foundation.
So, from this broken foundation, every step toward success will be a painful and difficult step in order to achieve something that you don't even know. You'll find yourself fighting to achieve money even if you have enough for your needs, or you'll start to make compromises in order to be acclaimed as a popular person. In fact, you'll start to get out of sync with what you need. You'll start doing things you don't even understand. You'll start to feel bad about what you're doing.
And the most important thing is that, once “successful”, you'll experiment a complete and unbearable feeling of emptiness and frustration. You have something that you didn't even want in the first place. And what you really wanted is not there anymore, leaving you empty and sad.

Success from within

All of this because you resisted your inner being. You succumbed to ready made success principles, without understanding the most important part: what YOU really want. What makes YOU happy. What YOU can offer in an unique and fulfilling way…
Everything starts to lighten when you're doing things you like. Those things will most likely not be giving you millions of dollars. Hmm, I just realized that's not a rule, by the way. They might give you as well millions of dollars, it's just not a rule that you'll actually need millions of dollars in order to express yourself to your full potential.Â
If those things are totally and honestly filling your existence, they will lead you to success anyway. Every thing you like to do is a solid foundation. Every thing that feels good to be done is a guarantee that you'll make yourself happy, sometime. Every thing that you do without effort is a promise of undoubtable success.
The real joy of life always comes from within. The real need for success always come froms you to the others, not the other way around. Whenever you need too much proof that what you're doing is correct, you're going away form your own navigation tools, setting course on somebody else's path. You'll crash, sooner or later.

Getting used to success

Being successful is not a question of how to get there, but how to get used to it. For me that's the most important discovery about success. Most of the people resist to success because they don’t know what to do once they get there.  And they even don't know they are there. I actually met hundreds of successful people that didn't even realize that they lived a successful life.
There is a powerful social conditioning that postulates that success is difficult. So people obey to this and stay in difficult situations, waiting for their success to bloom. But it doesn’t. Because they're on the wrong definition of success. And that definition can’t possibly be correct for everyone, mathematically speaking. Having a limited set of principles defining success is just not working for everybody.
Every human being is different and every one has an internal mission that will make his life bloom. And they're here to do this with all their power and skills. They're here to be in a larger and more powerful flow of other people with their own different skills and expectations. They're here to be happy, and success is just one of the subtle flashing lights that is making them aware of that…
Success is a state of well being. An equilibrium in motion. A personal choice. It is not a social label. Is not a widely accepted set of criteria, that, once met, turn you into a successful human being.
You are successful when being successful is not a stress anymore. When you are outside that difficult path, socially induced. When you feel right about what you’re doing and when you’re doing everything right.
It might be making money, or it might be traveling the world. It might be doing business, corporate style, or it might be teaching others about being happy.

Success is happiness acknowledged.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

How To Enjoy Life

 

 How to Enjoy Life

Morning sunrise in the mountains
In The Magic of Starting Small, I made the point that it is your days that define your life. In this article, I want to challenge the common perception that it is only possible to enjoy your leisure time. In particular, this article is targeted at the professional stuck in the 9 to 5 grind who longs for the weekend and, in the process, has given up on trying to find pleasure in the ordinary experiences we have every day.
1. Appreciate Beauty. Each day we come across beauty in a number of shapes and forms. It’s a shame, then, that many people have become so accustomed to this beauty that it largely goes unappreciated. I suggest looking again at the people, plants, gadgets, and buildings (to name but a few examples) around you and taking a moment to appreciate what makes them so special.
2. Connect With Nature. Nature is an amazing healer for the stresses and strains of modern life. Eating lunch in the park, attending to a vegetable garden in your backyard, or watching the sunset are just a few simple ideas for how you can enjoy the outdoors on a daily basis.
3. Laugh. E. E. Cummings once said “the most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” How very true. Never be too busy to laugh, or too serious to smile. Instead, surround yourself with fun people and don’t get caught up in your own sense of importance.
4. Have Simple Pleasures. A good cup of coffee when I first wake. Time spent playing with my 8 month old son. Cooking a nice meal in the evening. These may not seem terribly exciting, but they are some of the simple pleasures I enjoy in life. If you slow down for just a moment and take the time to appreciate these ordinary events, life becomes instantly more enjoyable.
5. Connect With People. In so many ways, it is our relationships with people that give us the most happiness in life. Perhaps, then, the best way to enjoy your work more is not to get a raise or a promotion, but rather to build rewarding relationships with your co-workers.
6. Learn. There is a strong link between learning and happiness. Given this, there is no excuse not to be stimulating your brain and learning something new each day. My favorite way to find time for learning is to make the most of the commute to and from work. Audiobooks and podcasts are great for this purpose.
7. Rethink Your Mornings and Evenings. Are the mornings a mad rush for you to get out the door? Do you switch off the TV at night and go straight to bed? I have personally experienced the profound benefits of establishing a routine in the morning and evening. For example, in the morning you may choose to wake an hour earlier and spend the time working on yourself, whether it be reading, writing or exercising. In the evening, consider spending some time just before bed reviewing your day or in meditation.
8. Celebrate Your Successes. During a normal day we are sure to have some minor successes. Perhaps you have successfully dealt with a difficult customer, made a sale, or received a nice compliment for your work. These aren’t events worth throwing a party for, but why not take a moment to celebrate your success? Share the experience with someone else, reward yourself with a nice lunch, or just give yourself a mental pat on the back.
Peter writes about how to change your life at The Change Blog. He also runs a blog for audio book lovers called Audio Book Downloads.

Image by Robby Edwards

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Group Flow

This week's article is a study that shows there are great strides of creativity and productivity when group flow is achieved.  This article shows how group flow can be achieved.

Group flow: How teamwork can foster creativity
--by R. Keith Sawyer , Greater Good, Feb 1, 2012
Researcher R. Keith Sawyer looks to comedians and jazz groups for 10 keys to more creative, successful teams in the office, on the field, and beyond.
In 1949, the comedian Sid Caesar brought together a legendary group of comedy writers and created one of the biggest television hits of the 1950s, Your Show of Shows. Caesar’s team included Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, and Neil Simon. It may have been the greatest writing staff in the history of television.
They developed the show in a small suite of rooms on the sixth floor of 130 West 56th Street in Manhattan. Caesar created a fun and improvisational environment, where the team would riff on each other’s ideas constantly. “Jokes would be changed 50 times,” Mel Brooks later remembered. “We’d take an eight-minute sketch and rewrite it in eight minutes.” They constantly reworked the same scene until something really great emerged. The writers felt like they belonged to something greater than themselves. Critics and TV historians call this comic gold. I call it “group flow.”
The legendary writing staff of Your Show of Shows in the 1950s included Mel Brooks (front row, far right) and Neil Simon (back row, far left). Their collaboration epitomizes "group flow."PBS

Famed psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihaly coined the term “flow” to describe a particular state of heightened consciousness—what some people refer to as being “in the zone.”
Csikszentmihaly discovered that extremely creative people are at their peak when they experience “a unified flowing from one moment to the next, in which we feel in control of our actions, and in which there is little distinction between self and environment; between stimulus and response; or between past, present, and future.” When they enter the flow state, people from a wide range of professions describe feeling a sense of competence and control, a loss of self-consciousness, and they get so absorbed in the task that they lose track of time.
Researchers have spent a lot of time studying how individuals achieve flow, and how it benefits them and their work. But as Mel Brooks and his partners in Sid Caesar’s laugh factory could confirm, sometimes super-creative groups like jazz ensembles, theater troupes, or comedy writing teams get into flow together.
Carl Reiner (left) and Mel Brooks worked together onYour Show of Shows.
Indeed, group flow is important for all of us, because so many of our personal and professional activities are spent in groups, and we all want these groups to be more effective and more fun—whether they’re a sports team, a business meeting, a non-profit board, a PTA, or a boy scout troop. Decades of scientific research have revealed that great creativity almost always springs from collaboration, conversation, and social networks—challenging our mythical image of the isolated genius. And research shows that when a group is in flow, it’s more likely to resolve problems with surprising and creative solutions.
So how can business managers, coaches, and the rest of us foster group flow? I first explored this question while working on my Ph.D. with Csikszentmihaly at the University of Chicago. A jazz pianist myself, I started my research by studying jazz ensembles; then, I branched out to study improv theater groups, business teams, and sports teams.
I discovered that group flow isn’t just a matter of luck. Rather, it tends to emerge when 10 key conditions are in place. In these 10 conditions we can find lessons for workplaces, sports teams, and just about any other group that wants its work to be more effective and gratifying.
The keys to flow
To understand the roots of group flow, it helps to understand a bit more about how individuals find flow.
Drawing on research with mountain climbers, club dancers, artists, and scientists, Csikszentmihalyi found that people are more likely to get into flow when their environment has four important characteristics.
First and most importantly, they’re doing something where their skills match the challenge of the task. If the challenge is too great for their skills, they get frustrated; if the task isn’t challenging enough, they simply get bored.
Second, flow occurs when the goal is clear, and third, when there’s constant and immediate feedback about how close you are to achieving that goal.
Fourth, flow occurs when you’re free to fully concentrate on the task.
Building on this research, I found that group flow requires conditions that overlap with and go beyond these four. Here are the 10 factors I identified for group flow.
1. The group’s goal
First, I found that it’s essential for groups to have a compelling vision and a shared mission—they need to be clear about what their collective goal is. But how we define a group’s goal can vary depending on what type of group it is.
Jazz and improv theater are relatively unstructured. The only goal is intrinsic to the performance itself—to perform well and to entertain the audience. This is problem-findingcreativity because the group has to “find” and define the problem as they’re solving it.
But the groups in which we participate during the workday—task forces, project groups, and committees—usually have a specific goal in mind. Business teams are expected to solve specific problems. If the goal is well-understood and can be explicitly stated, it’s a problem-solving creative task.
Problem-finding and problem-solving creativity can both foster flow, depending on the context. Either way, the key to group flow is managing a paradox: establishing a goal that provides focus for the team—just enough focus so that team members can tell when they get closer to a solution—but one that’s open-ended enough for maximum creativity to emerge.
2. Close listening
Actors and musicians both talk about group flow using metaphors like riding a wave, gliding across a ballroom with a dance partner, or lovemaking. Group flow is more likely to emerge when everyone is fully engaged—what improvisers call “deep listening,” in which you don’t plan ahead what you’re going to say, but your statements are genuinely unplanned responses to what you hear. Innovation is blocked when one or more participants already has a preconceived idea of how to get to the goal; improvisers frown on this practice, pejoratively calling it “writing the script in your head.”
Here’s an example from an improv performance with no group flow. A pair of improv actors, a man and a woman, are walking slowly across the stage, hand in hand, taking a romantic walk in the park, when this exchange occurs:
Woman (pointing to the side of the path): Oh look, what’s that?
Man: It’s just a pile of dog poop.
Woman (bending closer to look): No, it’s a lottery ticket!
When the woman pointed to the side of the trail, she was already “writing the script” that they would find a discarded lottery ticket in the park. She was probably already thinking that it would be a winning ticket and that it would change their lives. That “scripting” kept her from listening to what her partner really said and riffing off of that.
3. Keep it moving forward
After deep listening, team members need to keep moving the conversation forward, meaning that they follow the most important rule of improv: “Yes, and…” In other words, listen closely to what’s being said, accept it fully, then extend and build on it. This often leads down an unexpected and improvised path, a problem-finding process that can result in surprising new ideas.
Nothing staunches creativity quicker than negating or ignoring your partner. “Yes, and…” builds on deep listening, and it’s critical to group flow.
4. Complete concentration
In basketball, complete concentration is required because the game moves fast—everyone’s constantly moving around you, and yet you need to remain constantly aware of your teammates and opponents. One of the basketball players Csikszentmihalyi interviewed said, “If you step back and think about why you are so hot all of a sudden, you get creamed.” When a player is in flow, time becomes warped, minutes seem like hours, and the basketball can appear to move in slow motion.
To enable a similar degree of concentration—and flow—in group settings, it helps to wall the group’s work off from other activities, giving them the space to devote their full attention to their work. Perhaps this is why many high-performing groups have a strong feeling of group identity, of standing apart from the world.
5. Being in control
People get into flow when they’re in control of their actions and of their environment. In the same way, group flow increases when people feel autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Many studies of teams have found that if a team knows that their managers trust them and will, in the end, accept and support what they decide, that team performs better.
But in group flow, unlike solo flow, control results in a paradox: Each participant must feel in control while at the same time remaining flexible, listening closely, and always being willing to defer to the emergent flow of the group. The most innovative teams are the ones that can manage that paradox.
Andy Newcombe/Creative Commons
6. Blending egos
Jazz musicians know that they need to control their egos; every jazz player can tell a story about a technically gifted young instrumentalist who was nonetheless a horrible jazz musician. What they’re lacking is the ability to submerge their ego to the group mind, to balance their own voice with deep listening.
Group flow is the magical moment when it all comes together, when the group is in sync and the performers seem to be thinking with one mind. In group flow, each person’s idea builds on the ones that their partners just contributed. Small ideas build together and an innovation emerges.
“He is animated and engaged with you,” one executive said of a colleague who often participated in groups in flow. “[But] he is also listening and reacting to what you are saying with undivided attention.”
7. Equal participation
Group flow is more likely to occur when all participants play an equal role in the collective creation of the final product or performance. Group flow is blocked if anyone’s skill level is significantly below the rest of the group; all of the members must have comparable skill levels. This is why professional athletes don’t enjoy playing with amateurs: Group flow can’t happen, because the professionals will be bored and the amateurs will be frustrated. It’s also blocked when one person dominates, is arrogant, or doesn’t think they have anything to learn in the conversation.
8. Familiarity
By studying many different work teams, psychologists have found that when we’re more familiar with our teammates, we’re more productive and make more effective decisions. When members of a group have been together awhile, they share a common language and a common set of unspoken understandings—what psychologists call ”tacit knowledge.” Because it’s unspoken, people often don’t even realize what it is that enables them to communicate effectively.
In improv, group flow happens only when all the players have mastered a body of tacit knowledge. Improv actors learn a set of guiding principles that help make it work, rules such as “Don’t deny” and “Show, don’t tell.”
This shared understanding gets group members on the same page about the group’s goals—and clear goals are a cornerstone of group flow. Familiarity with one another’s communication style also helps them respond to each other quickly, and we know from Csikszentmihalyi’s research that immediate feedback is critical to flow.
9. Communication
Indeed, group flow requires constant communication. Everyone hates to go to useless meetings. But the kind of communication that leads to group flow often doesn’t happen in the conference room. Instead, it’s more likely to happen in free-wheeling, spontaneous conversations in the hallway, or in social settings after work or at lunch.
10. The potential for failure
Jazz ensembles rarely experience flow during rehearsal; group flow seems to require an audience, and the accompanying risk of real, meaningful failure. Jazz musicians and improv theater ensembles never know how successful a performance will be. Professional actors learn not to ignore the feeling of stage fright but to harness it, using it as a powerful force to push them toward flow.
Research shows us over and over again that the twin sibling of innovation is frequent failure. There’s no creativity without failure, and there’s no group flow without the risk of failure. These two common research findings go hand in hand, because group flow is often what produces the most significant innovations.
Finding the balance
As this list suggests, group flow happens when many tensions are in perfect balance: between convention and novelty, between structure and improvisation, between the critical, analytic mind and the freewheeling, outside-the-box mind, between listening to the rest of the group and speaking out with your own individual voice. The central paradox of group flow is that it can only happen when there are rules and the participants share tacit understandings, but with too many rules or too much cohesion, the potential for innovation is lost.
The key question facing groups that have to innovate is finding just the right amount of structure to support improvisation, but not so much structure that it smothers creativity. Jazz and improv theater have important messages for all groups, because they’re unique in how successfully they balance all of these tensions.
The most effective business teams balance these tensions in the same way: They listen closely, they are concentrated on the task, they communicate openly so that everyone gets immediate feedback, and they trust that genius will emerge from the group, not from any one member. When that happens, groups find flow—and with it, studies show, comes more effective team performance, greater innovation, and higher workplace satisfaction. It’s good for the organization, and it’s good for its workers, too.

R. Keith Sawyer, Ph.D., a professor of psychology and education at Washington University in St. Louis, is one of the country’s leading scientific experts on creativity. He elaborates on the ideas in this essay in his book Group Genius. A jazz pianist for over 20 years, Dr. Sawyer lectures to corporations, associations, and universities around the world on creativity and innovation. This article was reprinted with permission from the Greater Good Science Center.